Monday, January 9, 2012

The Sountrack of 2011

You know how certain songs remind you of certain events?  Well, I feel like ever since Adelyn died, music has taken on a whole different level.  There are so many songs that will forever be linked to so many moments for this year.  Some of them are so funny or random, I had to share.  Mostly for myself to remember.

I think that the first part of 2011 is a blur of grief and emotions.  The first song that I remember attaching a memory to is The Band Perry, "If I Die Young".  I heard it for the first time on American Idol, and quickly became attached to it.  My favorite lyrics are these:
"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song" -I really don't think I need to explain why these remind me of Adelyn, especially since it was around the time we were expecting our rainbow

A song that will always make me smile and bring a happy memory - Rihanna's "S & M."  I was jamming to it in the car one day and Sierra was with me.  For some reason she thought when the song says "sex in the air" that it really was saying Sierra!  I got a good laugh about that one.  I also realized I better watch what I am listening to!

A completely different song to touch my emotions was Adele "Someone Like You."  I'm not sure why, but the mood of the song just matched mine for most of August and September, right when it was always on the radio.  And a few of the lines:
"Don't forget me"
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead" -because it hurt so badly to lose her
 "You know how time flies only yesterday was the time of our lives" -this made me think of when I was pregnant with her and so happy, and now I was pregnant again but it was so different
"Nothing compares, No worries or cares, Regrets and mistakes, They are memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?" - especially that last part about it being bittersweet.

On to a very random song.  This song will always remind me of our trip to Erie, that turned out to be a disaster. Sierra thought this song was funny, and Trevor and I couldn't figure out the lyrics. And somehow it became "Daddy's song" to Sierra.  It seems to come on a lot when we are in the car, and we turn it up and sing and laugh. Yes, another song with horrible lyrics.  What am I doing to my kid?

This song was all over the radio right before Coen was born, and so it will always remind me of that time.  Of those moments when I felt hopeful and excited about his birth. They were rare, but they did start to appear towards the end.  The only lyric of this song that makes sense is "This time I'm not leaving without you."  It's Lady Gaga's "You and I".  I still think of those moments when I hear it.  I think I was trying to get myself geared up by thinking I wasn't leaving that hospital again without my baby - and I didn't.

And finally, I think this is our theme song for 2011 - another Rihanna song - "We Found Love".  Because a lot of 2011 was spent in a hopeless place, but by the end of it, "we found love in a hopeless place."

And those are the random songs that will forever remind me of 2011 - the happy, the sad, the hopeful, and the grief of my year. 


car said...

You are not the only one corrupting your child's mind with questionable lyrics. D loves Foster the People and all Lady Gaga. And If I Die Young is beautiful but it is like a knife in the heart when your 4 year old sings it.

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