Today was the first day of work for me since June. Sierra woke up in a good mood, and even got herself dressed and made her bed. Something I have been working on - with little luck - all summer. She was so excited to go to the baby-sitter's house. It almost made me sad! Coen woke up before I had to wake him up, probably Sierra being loud woke him up, but he was happy so it was all good. When I went to drop them off, it was a bit chaotic and I was trying not to think about leaving him. Another mom was leaving her 5 month old for the first time, and another mom was leaving her 15 month old to go to work for the first time also (she was able to take a year off and keep her job). So lots going on. The 15 month old cried, and it almost made me cry because I was on the verge. But I was ok.
On the drive to work I started thinking about this day last year. I started thinking about what a difference a year makes. Last year, I was pregnant but didn't want to talk about it really, I hadn't even told many coworkers I was pregnant at the end of the previous year. I was so detached and had not really bonded at all with the baby. All I knew was that it wasn't Adelyn, and I felt too guilty about loving another baby that wasn't her so soon. I honestly wasn't sure I could love another baby as much.
And this year, I was driving to the first day of work, on the verge of tears because I love that baby so much I couldn't bear to be away from him.
Like I mentioned earlier, all summer I wasn't away from him more than a few hours, because he never had one bottle. Well, I guess that came back to bite me in the butt today because he would not take a bottle at the baby-sitter's house today. He was turning his head and pushing it out of his mouth, as if to say "what is this thing, it's not the real thing!" I guess he forgot what a bottle was like in 2.5 months! I am not sure what to do, he wasn't unhappy or anything, but when I was home he did nurse before lunch fine. I know he eats food, but he still needs most of his nutrition from milk. I guess I could try to push the sippy cup? I wouldn't care honestly but I have a whole freezer full of frozen milk and I hate to throw it away! All that hard work for what? I do use one bag a day in his cereal, but still.
Work wasn't too bad, I got to be in an air conditioned building all day which really makes a difference. Being hot and sweaty all day, really makes me tired and cranky. This evening went well too, no meltdowns and everyone went to bed easily. But man, 5 hours with your kids is not enough. When 2 of those hours you spent cooking dinner, doing dishes, feeding them, giving baths. I need more hours in the day already!
Time to get off the computer and relax some, so I can get up and do it all over again tomorrow.
1 week ago