It's the day after a pregnancy check up and, as usual, I find myself missing my baby girl terribly. Why does this always happen the day after I have an appointment? I just want HER. Right now, I don't want to be pregnant again or go through labor and delivery again. I don't want to be worrying about c-sections again. I want to be worrying about my 10 month old meeting her milestones - would she be crawling, pulling up, getting teeth? I want to be comparing when she did these things to when her big sister did them- would they be similar or opposite?
Last night a quote from a TV show stood out to me - I can't remember it word for word, but it went something like "Stop wishing, because a wish is just wanting something to be different than what it is." Isn't that the truth.....
I always thought wishing for things was a way to motivate me, to keep me going. But now that I can't have what I wish for, I guess maybe it's time to stop wishing. Or find something else to wish for. But I don't know because I will never wish for anything more than for September 29, 2010 to have ended with a screaming, healthy baby girl to bring home and love.
1 week ago