Monday, January 23, 2012

One of Each

You know where this post is going.  I've complained about this comment before.  But it happened again.

We went out to dinner Saturday night, without the kids, for Trevor's birthday.  We went to one of those Hibachi grills, so we sat with others.  There was a girl and her mother and a couple with their two little girls.  They were maybe 4 and 7 or so.  I couldn't help but stare at them and wonder.....what would it be like to have two little girls?

We were making small talk with the couple next to us and asked if they went there a lot.  We said we went every now and again but it was hard to get out with small kids.  Next question of course was how old are your kids?  Trevor answered, "our daughter is 3.5 and our son is 3 months."  They said congratulations on the new baby and then THE comment, with a new twist - "oh one of each, so are you done then?"  I nodded immediately and Trevor just yes.  The lady commented on how quickly I nodded my head.  Really it was not because I am the one who for sure doesn't want any  more kids - I wouldn't rule out having one more a few years from now, but I am also just fine with not having any more (for the record, Trevor says absolutely no more).    I quickly answered because I was worried Trevor was going to say something about Adelyn.  And now I feel guilty about it (I told you every single type of guilt is swarming around me right now). 

I hate it so much - no matter how I answer, it is uncomfortable.  If I leave Adelyn out, I feel SO guilty.  If I bring her up, then it is awkward and people don't look at me the same.  What to do????  I don't think there will ever be an answer to that question.


Melissa said...

I agree, I'll never have an answer to that. Also, I feel guilty for doing the same thing -- we all do I suppose!

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