Wednesday, November 9, 2011

It's Been Awhile

I haven't had time or energy to blog in awhile. Coen is a good baby, he rarely fusses.  But I haven't gotten more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a month now and I'm tired.  I usually blog at night before bed when I have my "alone" time, but lately I have been too exhausted to think.  I should go to bed, but instead I tend to stay up for 2 hours after Coen goes to sleep so I can enjoy some alone time, and so I can squeeze in one extra pumping session.  I feel like a cow or something, I swear all I do all day is feed Coen, pump, wash pump parts, repeat.  I'm trying to pump in between feedings when I know he will sleep for awhile, so I can stock up for when I go back to work.  Which is way too soon.

Tonight both kids (I still smile when I talk/write about "both kids") were in bed by 9:30. We are getting good at this.  I have been trying to get rid of old stuff and sell what I can, donate what I can't.  I gathered a lot of newborn baby girl clothes that we won't be needing anymore and sold it on Ebay.  Some clothes were Sierra's, but most were outfits I bought for Adelyn.  I was packing it up tonight and it made me so sad.  I have to be honest and say that it's been awhile since I've felt that way.  But I know it will creep up every now and again.

I was sad because I can't believe Sierra is 3 and a half already.  Looking at her old clothes brings back memories of her at Coen's age.  Just for kicks, here's a picture of her:
And Coen at about the same age:
I'd say they have the exact same mouth! 

So anyway, parting with those baby clothes was harder than I thought.  I found two things I had bought for Adelyn that had butterflies on them and I second guessed getting rid of them.  I thought about refunding what I sold it for and keeping it - but for what?  Clothes are meant to be worn, not put away in a box and cried over.  So I taped it up and got it ready to mail.  But I felt very sad.  I will never need newborn girl clothes again.  But, even had Adelyn lived, at some point that would hold true.  Can't keep having babies!

I took pictures of all my favorite outfits I got for Adelyn, and I have hundreds of pictures of Sierra wearing the outfits that were hers, so I shouldn't be so sad.  I saved two special outfits of Adelyn's and I will save some of the stuff that both Sierra and Coen wore, the yellow neutral stuff - just to show them how tiny they were.  I wonder if I should have saved more of Sierra's stuff, because she asks a lot of questions about her as a baby now that Coen is here.  But I think there are some 0-3 month girly stuff that I am more attached to that I can save.  I like to have the things they both wore.  Like this:
Yes, I staged them in the same outfit and pose.  Can you tell which is which?

That was a random post, started last night but finished this morning because my pictures weren't uploading!


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