Friday, November 11, 2011

The Comment I've Been Dreading

It took an entire month, but someone finally uttered THE comment I have been dreading. I was at Sierra's dance class tonight and a bunch of the moms and dads were chatting while we waited.  The one mom next to me started asking questions about Coen - how old he was, what his name was, etc. And then she made the well-meaning comment of "Oh how nice you have a boy and a girl."  Of course this woman didn't know my story, so I tried not to let it bother me.  But still, it got me thinking.

Why does everyone think it is "perfect" to have a boy and a girl? Why is it better  to have one of each than to have two girls? 

I'll tell you what is "perfect" - for all your kids to LIVE.  That's perfect.  Boys, girls, whatever - but living, healthy babies/children are what matters.

And so that is one thing that my family will never be - "perfect."  Because someone will always be missing.  Adelyn didn't live, she isn't here with us.  Perfect would be for us to have both Adelyn AND Coen. Because I always thought if I had three kids, I would want two girls and a boy.  I never thought I would get it the way I did.

From afar, perhaps we look like the perfect family.  But as I now know, looks can be deceiving and you never know the whole story.  So don't judge until you do.

Just a little vent for the day.........


KrystalK said...

I hear this a lot too. and it drives me NUTS! "well at least you have a boy and girl already" REALLY!?!?! So my daughter Stella means nothing? Her death isnt as monumental because i already have 2 kids, of which are "perfect" because i have a boy and girl? blasphamy. That makes me so mad. It would be perfect to have our girls here with us, other than that, NOTHING will be perfect until we can hold them again. -vent over. ((((((hugs))))))

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