Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Wish

A Bereaved Parent’s Christmas Wish
By: Emily Hughes-Angel Mom to Jack.

1.) We wish you could understand, that even though we may have other children, or we may be expecting another one soon, it does not mean our hearts are not aching for the child who is not here. If one parent dies, and one remains, you aren’t expected not to miss the absent parent….

2.) We wish you could understand that we are not out to ruin your holiday or to inconvenience you at all. Sometimes, seeing everyone elses joy, especially children’s joy, reminds us of what we are missing so much and it simply hurts…

3.) We wish that you would help us to include our child in the festivities and laughter. Simple things, like sending us a card, including our child’s name means a million times more than any store-bought gift.

4.) We wish you would not take it personally, when we do not decorate or participate in parties. It takes a lot of energy, just to endure the commercials, music and other reminders that sometimes -we just need a break.

5.) We wish that you would allow us space to grieve and to experience the natural emotions that come from having a loved one gone during the holidays, we would do the same for you, if god forbid, you lost a loved one.

6.) We wish you would not take it personally, when we do not comment about your child’s photo with Santa. While we are happy for you and your child, we know in our hearts that our babies will never sit on Santa’s lap…

7.) We wish that you go on to have your happy holiday, and that it is everything you love about this time of year. And that you can appreciate that for us, it just won’t be happy.

8.) But most of all, we wish that you will never have to endure this kind of pain, longing and heart-ache. We wish that no one ever had to know what this feels like.

*I had to borrow this after I saw it posted somewhere else. So far, I'm doing ok. I think it may hit me worse next year, when Christmas will be magical for Sierra and Adelyn would be 15 months and doing a LOT more. This year, she wouldn't really have been able to open presents or anything. But, that doesn't mean I don't miss getting to dress her up in her dress that matches Sierra's, or buying baby's first Christmas ornaments instead of angels.

Merry Christmas!


TanaLee Davis said...

Oh...I can't even begin to tell you how I hurt with you. I can't relate 100% due to not having a child before the child I lost. But I can only imagine the number it does to your heart. Holidays suck but its worse when family seems to always get together. Losses like this just make these times of year worse and more stressful- like triggers.
I hope your doing okay tonight Lisa. I'm thinking of you, Sierra, and baby Adelyn. May your next few days pass like the wind and leave you not feeling alone but wrapped in love from others around you.
I will be thinking of you,

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