Sunday, November 28, 2010

Tear Soup

Someone recommended the book called Tear Soup to me. I found it at the library and have to admit, really liked it. So, since I am taking it back tomorrow, I thought I would write down some of the things/parts I liked best about the book. One page has pictures of books on a shelf, each one has something written on it that would be a reason for grief. Among them are "stillbirth" and "pet died." I give the author credit for recognizing stillbirth as a true reason for grief.

"It seems that grief is never clean. People often feel misunderstood, feelings get hurt and wrong assumptions are made all over the place. To make matters worse, grief always takes longer to cook than anyone wants it to."

"All she could taste was salt from her teardrops. It tasted bitter, but she knew this was where she had to start. And for now, it was the only thing on her menu."

"Grandy's arms ached and she felt stone cold and empty. There were no words to describe the pain she was feeling. What's more, when she looked out the window it surprised her to see how the rest of the world was going on as usual while her world had stopped."

"Grandy found that most people can tolerate only a cup of someone else's tear soup. The giant bowl, where Grandy could repeatedly share her sadness in great detail, was left for a few willing friends."

"I feel like I'm unraveling. I'm mad. I'm confused. I can't make any decisions. Nobody can make me feel good. I'm a mess. I just didn't realize it would be this hard."

"Grandy looked forward to getting the mail each day. She dreaded the day when no more sympathy cards would come."

"Thank goodness Grandy and Pops have been married a long time. They already knew each other's tear soup would be different. Secretly Grandy wished Pops would put more flavoring in his soup, but he doesn't want to. And he's perfectly content to dine alone and sip his own soup."

"Making tear soup is hard work. Sometimes it was all she could think about. Even the things Grandy used to love to do, she didn't have the energy for, nor did she care about anymore."

"Some days when you're making tear soup it's even hard to breathe. Some days you feel like running away. You just hope a better day comes along soon. And then comes one of the hardest parts of making tear soup. It's when you decide it may be okay to eat something instead of soup all the time."

"I've learned that grief, like a pot of soup, changes the longer it simmers and the more things you put into it. I've learned that sometimes people say unkind things, but they really don't mean to hurt you. And most importantly, I've learned that there is something down deep within all of us ready to help us survive the things we think we can't survive."

There are also tips in the back of the book that are really good.
-The object of grieving is not to get over the loss or recover from the loss but to get through the loss.
-You deserve to be happy again. Being happy doesn't mean you forget. Learn to be grateful for the good days.
-Remember the past, hope for the future, but live in the present.


TanaLee Davis said...

Great thoughts! I love the one that says,
"The object of grieving is not to get over the loss or to recover from the loss but to get through the loss."
I also appreciate the one about being happy again.
I'm still working on that one because it feels wrong to smile when my daughter isn't around..but really our "sleeping" children would want us to smile and enjoy life.

Mary Beth said...

I've never heard of this book - I'll definitely check it out! Thanks for sharing it.

Lisa said...

It's cute. A quick read -it's really for older children - lots of pictures. Too old for Sierra and Riley though. I liked it :)

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