Thursday, August 4, 2011

One of Those Days

Yesterday was "one of those days." So far, today isn't much better though.

Sierra peed her pants yesterday morning. I was frustrated a bit, she had been almost accident free for about 5 days. I don't really count when she runs to the potty and maybe doesn't make it quite in time - at least she is trying. I expect that to happen - a lot at first. But when she pees her pants and says nothing and just continues playing in wet underwear - I get angry.

We finally got out the door to grocery shop - a chore I HATE. We needed so much, it had been over 2 weeks since I did a big trip. Things were not quite fitting in the cart. Maybe those 4 big jugs of bubbles for $1 each took up too much room, but I couldn't pass up that deal. (FYI they are not all for me - one to keep at my mom's house because she never has any and one for my niece because she loves bubbles right now). The bill wasn't as bad as I thought, given I did buy some "unneccesary" items that were on clearance and a birthday gift. When we walked outside, it was drizzling, but not bad. As soon as we got to the car, the rain started coming down. There was nothing else to do except load Sierra in the car and then load up 2 weeks worth of food in the rain. Fun. And then I found out Sierra peed her pants AGAIN while in the store, after I asked her about 10 times if she had to. I can always tell when she does, but she will say no and refuse to go. Sigh.

So we got home and had lunch and she went down for a nap. I wanted to organize some things, but never seem to get anything done during nap and it frustrates me! Sierra woke up and it was still kinda yucky out so we stayed in. She refused the potty before and after her nap, which is one of the rules in this house. So I took more toys away for lack of a better strategy to use when she doesn't listen. Then we went downstairs and she sat on the kitchen floor and peed per pants. That was the final straw, or so I thought. I made her clean it up and rinse out her pants and go to time out, and took yet another toy.

So then I tried to calm down and start dinner, being it was after 6. Add to the frustration that my hubby was working late. I went to pick up the can we keep the rice in, and it was sort of buried behind all the extra new food I bought and needed to store in the pantry. Being 7 months pregnant, bending over isn't easy. And so in the process, the lid came off the container and rice went everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I stared at it in disbelief for a minute, then realized that this was beyond the final straw. So I just sat there, on the kitchen floor, in the middle of rice everywhere, and cried. Out of frustration. My day was not going very well. I was frustrated because my pregnant belly got in the way. Didn't a just do this and for what? Why do I have to do this again? I don't want to, I just want my baby girl back.

Sierra just stood there and stared at me and kept saying that someone needed to clean up the mess. Perhaps it was good for her to see me that upset and know she needs to start behaving. Maybe it's not good for her to see that, I don't know. But I just couldn't help it.

Some days, it's all just more than I can handle. Hormones, grief, and a toddler just don't mix well a lot of the time.


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