This summer, we took our first vacation since July 2010, when I was very pregnant with Adelyn. It was much needed, but of course it didn't come without stress and issues. First of all, my husband went back and forth about going, or staying the whole week, because he is super busy at work. Unfortunately, summer is his busiest time. He was thinking about leaving on Wednesday, but then we would have had to drive two cars, or we all could have left then, but we paid for a whole week and I'm off work anyway, so it was silly for me to not stay the whole week. He ended up staying the whole week, and only time will tell how that affects him. So far, not looking so good, as he is already majorly stressed after 3 days back. I wish there was something I could do to help him, but short of me making about double what I make, he is kind of stuck at his job. I could write an entire post about that, as it's a major issue in our house right now......
Of course he was almost caught up with work the week before we left, but then woke up with a migraine one day and had to stay home. So, Saturday he did some work from home and we didn't leave until 2. Which wasn't too bad, because neither of us are morning people and we get up and out of the house all year when I work, so we aren't good at doing it for other occasions! However, it made the 6.5 hour drive seem longer. The kids did really well, but Sierra was getting bored. We stopped to eat dinner, use the bathroom, walk around - and drove more. Right as we were going through downtown Philadelphia, where there was nowhere to pull over, Sierra says, "Mommy, I don't think I feel very good" and then threw up all over herself without much warning. I thought Trevor was going to lose it. The smell of puke makes him gag (is that a guy thing or what?!) and he was getting all stressed. Meanwhile, I am almost in tears because I feel so bad for Sierra. Hmmm, another guy thing - I worry about the kid, he worries about himself? Anyway, I tried to clean her up but didn't do a very good job. We thought about stopping, but really getting her out wasn't going to do much good, it was all over her car seat. I think getting out then getting back in a stinky, puked all over car seat, would have been worse. So we drove 3 more hours with puke all over her. I felt so bad, but she didn't complain and fell asleep. When we got there, it was chaos, as my mom put Sierra immediately in the tub, I had to rush inside to feed Coen and get him to bed because it was after 9, and Trevor had to clean out the car. I think he got the worst job, poor daddy.
I did not realize that Coen had never slept anywhere but his own crib overnight, but he made me well aware after the first night. He wouldn't fall asleep and it wasn't a good night. It was like this off and on all week, and we were all in the same room. After this experience, I am not sure how anyone can cosleep with their kids. I could hear their every move and couldn't fall asleep myself. Then Coen got a runny nose and that made it worse.
As for the beach, we spent my parents' 40th wedding anniversary there and got some family pictures done. They turned out good. I had really wanted to get a family picture with the 4 of us and Adelyn's name written in the sand in front of us, but things were crazy and it didn't happen. I'm lucky I got a few pictures with me in them, since I am always the one taking the pictures. I am happy with these pictures I took though:
Looking at those 3 pictures next to each other, clearly shows that hole, the empty space where Adelyn should be. Sigh. I thought about her a lot when we were on vacation. One day we were at the pool and there was another family there. Sierra and my niece were playing with some girls, and at some point the topic of siblings came up. It was the mother of those girls who asked Sierra how many brothers and sisters she had. I heard it and got anxious. Such a simple question, is not so simple for someone whose baby died. I worried how Sierra would answer, but I guess she didn't hear her because she said nothing. Relief.... Later my sister-in-law brought that up. She heard it too and mentioned that I must have been thinking about what Sierra would say. I'm glad that some people never forget. In fact, when we were trying to coordinate outfits for the family pictures, I had my heart set on a white dress with butterflies on it for Sierra. My sister-in-law asked for a picture of it to try to coordinate her daughter's outfit.....long story short, without me mentioning it, she said she liked the butterflies for Adelyn. That made me happy! But it ended up being easier to just wear white tops and khaki bottoms.
We actually spent quite a bit of time on the beach and in the pool and didn't do much else. Getting away is nice, because it forces you to relax - well as much as you can with 4 kids in a small condo. But, I couldn't get distracted by all the things that need done around my house. It was good to get away, but it was also good to come home to my own bed and get back in the routine. Thankfully, the drive home was puke free. We left at 5:30 pm so it was long and we were tired from not sleeping well, but we made it home safely.
1 week ago