Sunday, April 21, 2013

18 months

So Coen has been 18 months for over a week now, but life gets busy.  I should be going to bed, but I am making myself type this before it gets even more overdue!

Coen is a big boy.....28 lbs (90th percentile) and 32.5 inches (53rd percentile).  And his head is in the 95th percentile!!  I looked back to Sierra's baby book and she did not weigh 28 lbs until she was 2.5!  It is crazy.  My brother and I were both chubby toddlers, so I guess that's where he gets it from.  I'm not surprised since he looks like a clone of my brother.  We were both huge babies so I am thankful Coen didn't get chubby until after he started walking.  Although isn't that backwards, don't you usually slim down when you start running around?!

Coen is now a full blown toddler. No more baby :(  He throws fits, gets into everything, and is curious.  He wants to do things on his own now.  He can now climb to the top of our stairs in minutes.  He found the water dispenser on our fridge and poured water everywhere!

Coen is starting to talk more.  He says "bye bye", "outside", what sounds like "milk" or could be "more".  He says "mama" all the time, and "daddy" too.  His daddy taught him how to growl so he thinks that is funny.  He also says "Nee" for Nicco (our dog).  My favorite thing he does right now is put his hands up and say "oh no!"  or "oh man!" when something doesn't go his way.

The boy loves to eat still!  He loves his "coo-coos" (cookies) and got his first taste of local Sarris Chocolate, which in my opinion is the best chocolate ever.  He was so happy:

I got a new camera, so I've been practicing with it, although I am just using the automatic settings at this point.  I want to take a class but I don't think any are offered until fall :(  This my favorite picture of Coen that I took on his actual 18 month "birthday":

Lately I've been very aware that I am approaching quite a few lasts any time now.  Simple things, like the last time I do laundry using Dreft (my jug is about empty and no need to buy more of it) to the last time I nurse Coen (yes he still nurses before bed) to the last time I have a rear facing carseat in my car.  That last one will probably be awhile still, since I am all about safety.  I keep waiting for Coen to wean himself, but he hasn't, although I am sure I could wean him fairly easily.  I'm not sure how I feel about it - it's probably time, but I can't wrap my finger around never breastfeeding again.  Plus, because I nurse him before bed, I've put him to bed every night (unless he doesn't go right down, then his daddy will take over sometimes).

How has it been 18 months already??  Seems like yesterday.  As Coen grows, I find my heart longing for another baby, yet my head says no way.  I think in all honestly, I long for Adelyn and the chance to experience her baby-hood.  I think when Coen was a baby and I was doing all the baby stuff, it was a little easier, but now that I know the end of babies in our house has come, I long for just "one more".  But I know even if I had one more, I'd always long for another - Adelyn.

I read this article at Still Standig Magazine tonight, it is so perfect:
Bittersweet - my favorite part is this:
"Babies born after loss fill you with hope. They soothe your pain and fill your aching arms. But they cannot heal your heart. They cannot fill the space that belongs to their sibling. And for every blissful moment of joy they bring - there is heartbreak woven through it all. Constant reminders of what you are missing – the moments that were stolen from you, the smiles you never saw, the tiny hands you can not hold. Every amazing milestone, every ‘first’ and every achievement – always, always bittersweet."

I think it is extra bittersweet to watch babies born after a loss grow up.  The farther away from being a baby he becomes, the farther away from Adelyn I feel in a lot of ways.


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