'Tis the Season

'Tis the seaon for sickness.....

Last week Coen must have had an upset stomach and had many yucky diapers, which caused diaper rash.

Then Sierra got sick on Thanksgiving and almost didn't make it to the bathroom in time.  She said her tummy hurt, poor thing, but seemed to be better the next day after many trips to the bathroom.  So, I guess I totally jinxed her in my last post when I said she had been healthy.

Then there is the coughing.  As if it wasn't bad enough to hear this student at work with most annoying cough ever that lasted forever, I have also been hearing coughing at home for at least the past two months.  First Trevor, then Coen, Sierra started last week, and Trevor is back to coughing after a few weeks of being "cured."  All three of them coughing away.

So, we are still sick in this house.  I'm about ready to rip the whole house apart and lysol it over and over.  I'm done with sickness and it's only the beginning of "sick season."

Coen has his ear recheck on Friday and I'm really nervous.  I don't think it's going to be clear.  Considering he has had a runny nose and a little cough since he finished his antibiotics two weeks ago.

Hence the reason I haven't posted much in awhile.  I have started so many posts in my head, but have been too tired and busy to write them.  I hate that!

Still Sick

Well time is moving along and we are STILL sick here.  Coen finally seemed to be on the mend after a VERY crank weekend (last weekend), then he woke up the next day with a runny nose.  Now he's been coughing a lot at night and just has yucky things coming out of his nose.  And tonight my throat is sore, leaving me to believe I am catching his cold.  Really?

Last night he was coughing a lot after we put him to bed.  I was worried, but didn't want to go in and risk waking him up.  Learned that lesson when we went in his room while he was napping and he woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep.

As I was getting ready for bed, I realized I hadn't heard him cough for awhile.  I had a moment of panic, similar to those I experienced when he was a newborn and sleeping.  I worried that he had choked on his mucous and was quiet because he was dead.  I was frozen in fear, so much that I couldn't even go check on him.

Then in the morning, Sierra came running into our room and woke me up by staring at me.  She had this look on her face like something was wrong, and I panicked again.  I thought she was going to tell me she went into Coen's room to put her pull up in the diaper genie (yes she still wears pull ups to bed and more often than not pees in them....that's another topic entirely) and he wasn't moving or something.

And then I heard him cough.  Never thought I'd feel that much relief from having my sick baby cough...again.

I hate how anxious and overprotective I am.  I guess it is never going to change either.

Germs, Germs Go Away!

This fall has not been kind to our  house.  Except maybe to Sierra.  She's been pretty  healthy.  I hope I didn't just jinx her.

I swear one of us has been sick since I went back to work.  Colds, stomach issues, ear infections, coughs....you name it.

Poor Coen got his first ear infection at his one year check up.  After one dose of antiobiotics, he seemed to be on the mend.

Fast forward three weeks, the day we were to return to the doctor for an ear recheck and his shots, since he didn't get them at his well check.

He woke up and didn't seem like himself.  He had no fever, so I guilt-i-ly took him to the baby-sitter's house.  I said I thought maybe he was getting sick.  When I checked up on him later that day she said he was ok.  But then he spiked a fever an hour or two after this.  I decided to still take him to the doctor appointment (even though he couldn't get the shots due to having a fever) to be sure the ear infection had cleared.

It didn't.  So, we are on round two of antiobiotics and Augmentin is not our friend.  Coen doesn't like how it tastes so is starting to spit it back out.  It causes yucky diapers, so must be upsetting his tummy because he still isn't eating like normal.  It also gave Coen a rash, which the on-call nurse said was not a allergic reaction but just a common side effect.  Now I am confused because Sierra had a similar rash and they said she was allergic?

I am not sure what else is going on, but I want my sweet, happy boy back.  His fever has been gone for a few days, but he is still not himself.  He is cranky from the time he wakes up from his afternoon nap until I put him to bed. It's worse than when  he was an infant!  The past few nights he has woken up crying, which he hasn't done since he was 2 months old.  I am wondering if he is also teething because he keeps chewing on his fingers.  That would explain a lot, but I don't see any new teeth.

Hubby and I have also been sick off and on.  It's not fun.  I am hoping this is not a sign of how our winter is going to be.  Last year I made it from December when I went back to work to June without taking one sick day (because I didn't have any).  At least this year I have 8 more sick days left.

Well, that's if I ever catch up on work stuff to take off.  I am so busy I want to cry.  I hate going to work when my kids are sick.  I feel so guilty, like the worst mom in the world.  It's so hard for me to concentrate when all I am thinking about is how I would much rather be home rocking my sick baby.  But I literally  have at least 10 IEP reports to write by Thanksgiving break.  I am not sure it is going to happen.  Then I have to schedule meetings, do my monthly billing, in addition to seeing all 67 of the kids on my roster.  Just typing that made my stress level go WAY up.  Sometimes (ok most of the time) I really  hate being a working mom.  I'm so much happier in the summer.

Working mom of sick baby rant over.....

Pointing Fingers

Not sure if any of my blog readers have heard about the tragic accident that happened at the Pittsburgh Zoo.  If you haven't, basically a 2 year old boy was at the zoo with his mother.  She lifted him up to see and he lost his balance and fell into the exhibit.  A net caught him, but since he was so little he bounced out of it and into the exhibit of African Painted Dogs.  The dogs mauled him to death, so quickly that even though zoo officials responded within seconds, they could  not lure the dogs away fast enough to save him.

This story haunts me.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  This mother watched her son get mauled by dogs.  Worse yet, people are blaming her.  No, she shouldn't have lifted him up like that.  Did she think this would happen, and if she knew it would happen, would she still have done it?  No way. 

In a sense, I feel like people who are blaming her must blame me for my daughter's death.  I didn't want a c-section, so I chose to have her turned.  And then she died during labor  or immediately after birth.  So, is it my fault for not having the c-section, because she probably would have lived had I chose that.  I didn't know this, or you can bet I would have done the c-section.  This news story has got me second guessing and wondering what people were saying about me right after Adelyn died.  Or maybe they didn't say it, but thought it.

I want to know what gives people the right to judge.

How many people have put their child in an expired car seat?  Or switched them to forward facing sooner than recommended, because it is "easier" or because they "feel bad"about their child having to sit that way?  How many people have switched their child to a booster seat sooner than they should, because it is more convenient?  I know many very good parents who have done this.

Honestly, I wouldn't have thought twice about these types of things until my child died.  And now, you bet my son is staying rear facing until he is 2.  I'm not taking any chances.  You bet my daughter is staying in a harness as long as possible.  We just bought her a new carseat and the harness goes up to 65 lbs.  We put Coen in her old one, rear facing, until the seat expires next year.

Truthfully, I am terrified of something bad happening to my living children.  I lived through that once, and I don't EVER want to experience that pain again.  I'm overprotective, and I worry.  A LOT.  When mothers who haven't lost a child talk about being that way, I almost want to laugh and tell them they have NO idea.

And now I am scared to take my kids to the zoo.  The whole time I would be there, I would be thinking about this accident and worrying.

Sigh....praying for the family of the that precious little boy.  Rest in peace.  I know all the other little kids welcomed you to heaven with open arms.