Thursday, August 23, 2012

Back to the Grind

Today was the first day of work for me since June.  Sierra woke up in a good mood, and even got herself dressed and made her bed.  Something I have been working on - with little luck - all summer.  She was so excited to go to the baby-sitter's house.  It almost made me sad!  Coen woke up before I had to wake him up, probably Sierra being loud woke him up, but he was happy so it was all good.  When I went to drop them off, it was a bit chaotic and I was trying not to think about leaving him.  Another mom was leaving her 5 month old for the first time, and another mom was leaving her 15 month old to go to work for the first time also (she was able to take a year off and keep her job).  So lots going on.  The 15 month old cried, and it almost made me cry because I was on the verge.  But I was ok.

On the drive to work I started thinking about this day last year.   I started thinking about what a difference a year makes.  Last year, I was pregnant but didn't want to talk about it really, I hadn't even told many coworkers I was pregnant at the end of the previous year.  I was so detached and had not really bonded at all with the baby.  All I knew was that it wasn't Adelyn, and I felt too guilty about loving another baby that wasn't her so soon.  I honestly wasn't sure I could love another baby as much.

And this year, I was driving to the first day of work, on the verge of tears because I love that baby so much I couldn't bear to be away from him. 

Like I mentioned earlier, all summer I wasn't away from him more than a few hours, because he never had one bottle.  Well, I guess that came back to bite me in the butt today because he would not take a bottle at the baby-sitter's house today.  He was turning his head and pushing it out of his mouth, as if to say "what is this thing, it's not the real thing!"  I guess he forgot what a bottle was like in 2.5 months!  I am not sure what to do, he wasn't unhappy or anything, but when I was home he did nurse before lunch fine.  I know he eats food, but he still needs most of his nutrition from milk.  I guess I could try to push the sippy cup?  I wouldn't care honestly but I have a whole freezer full of frozen milk and I hate to throw it away! All that hard work for what?  I do use one bag a day in his cereal, but still. 

Work wasn't too bad, I got to be in an air conditioned building all day which really makes a difference.  Being hot and sweaty all day, really makes me tired and cranky.  This evening went well too, no meltdowns and everyone went to bed easily.  But man, 5 hours with your kids is not enough.  When 2 of those hours you spent cooking dinner, doing dishes, feeding them, giving baths.  I need more hours in the day already!

Time to get off the computer and relax some, so I can get up and do it all over again tomorrow.


Watts Family said...

If you decide to try the sippy cup now, use it for milk, we did with Natalie until the freezer was empty. Actually it took her forever to use a sippy cup, she used the straw cups months before she'd use a sippy. Praying for your transition back into the school year.

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