Capture Your Grief Days 27, 28, 29, 30

Day 27. Artwork - This was made for me by Erin Cushman of Hope Mommies, who I "met" from this blog.  I missed the first Hope Mommies retreat where they received these, but she made me one.  I had to change it from PDF to a photo file, so the quality isn't as good, but I printed it on pink paper and it sits on her shelf.  Love it!

 

 

I could probably post a bunch of other things my cousin has made for me, but I think this one is my favorite:

 



Day 28. Memory - How can I pick one?  There are so many negative, heart wrenchingly painful memories I could share.  Almost all the memories of my pregnancy and especially the first year after she died, are painful.  The things that were happy, like the day we found out she was a girl, picking out her name at the last minute, shopping for ultra girly clothes much to my husband's dismay, going into labor (my neighbor flat out talking to Adelyn and telling her it was time to come out) - they turned into sad memories because of the loss of that innocence, because the represent the dream that never got to be.

A rare positive memory - I was shopping at Michael's and saw this sign that says "scatter joy."  It spoke to me, like it was Adelyn telling me it's ok to be happy, and I knew I had to buy it for her garden.  This is one of my all time favorite pictures of my kids:

Day 29. Music - There are SO many songs I could pick, but this one never fails to make me stop what I am doing and listen to the lyrics.  And usually tears well up by the time the song is over:

Day 30. Your Grief - Tell the World - I found this picture via the Compassionate Friends.  I think it sums up how I will feel the rest of my life.  When I expect something to be hard, I hold it together.  But something random will happen and knock me right back to day 1 of my grief.  It sucks.