Pointing Fingers

Not sure if any of my blog readers have heard about the tragic accident that happened at the Pittsburgh Zoo.  If you haven't, basically a 2 year old boy was at the zoo with his mother.  She lifted him up to see and he lost his balance and fell into the exhibit.  A net caught him, but since he was so little he bounced out of it and into the exhibit of African Painted Dogs.  The dogs mauled him to death, so quickly that even though zoo officials responded within seconds, they could  not lure the dogs away fast enough to save him.

This story haunts me.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  This mother watched her son get mauled by dogs.  Worse yet, people are blaming her.  No, she shouldn't have lifted him up like that.  Did she think this would happen, and if she knew it would happen, would she still have done it?  No way. 

In a sense, I feel like people who are blaming her must blame me for my daughter's death.  I didn't want a c-section, so I chose to have her turned.  And then she died during labor  or immediately after birth.  So, is it my fault for not having the c-section, because she probably would have lived had I chose that.  I didn't know this, or you can bet I would have done the c-section.  This news story has got me second guessing and wondering what people were saying about me right after Adelyn died.  Or maybe they didn't say it, but thought it.

I want to know what gives people the right to judge.

How many people have put their child in an expired car seat?  Or switched them to forward facing sooner than recommended, because it is "easier" or because they "feel bad"about their child having to sit that way?  How many people have switched their child to a booster seat sooner than they should, because it is more convenient?  I know many very good parents who have done this.

Honestly, I wouldn't have thought twice about these types of things until my child died.  And now, you bet my son is staying rear facing until he is 2.  I'm not taking any chances.  You bet my daughter is staying in a harness as long as possible.  We just bought her a new carseat and the harness goes up to 65 lbs.  We put Coen in her old one, rear facing, until the seat expires next year.

Truthfully, I am terrified of something bad happening to my living children.  I lived through that once, and I don't EVER want to experience that pain again.  I'm overprotective, and I worry.  A LOT.  When mothers who haven't lost a child talk about being that way, I almost want to laugh and tell them they have NO idea.

And now I am scared to take my kids to the zoo.  The whole time I would be there, I would be thinking about this accident and worrying.

Sigh....praying for the family of the that precious little boy.  Rest in peace.  I know all the other little kids welcomed you to heaven with open arms.