First Birthday

Happy First Birthday, Adelyn! There is so much I want to write, but I am physically and emotionally drained. For anyone who missed it on Facebook, here is the video I made for her:

Today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I held it together for most of it. But my arms ache for her. I long to touch her, feel her, hold her again SO much tonight. I know very soon I will have a new baby to hold and right now that thought terrifies me. I'm not sure how to continue to honor and remember HER and love someone new, someone who I get to hold and touch and feel. It's so hard. It never gets easier.