Day 6

Today was day 6 of Sierra having at least one potty training accident. The past 8 days, she has gotten 7 Xs on her sticker chart. Most days, she has had more than one accident.

I don't know what is going on, but right about now I would really like to have a conversation with God and ask Him what in the world He is trying to do to me. All of a sudden, my kid became disobedient and nasty, regressed to peeing her pants-not that she was ever fully potty trained, but she had been doing SO well - maybe 1 accident per week. I'm trying very hard not to be angry with her, but I am so, SO frustrated. No one seems to really get it. They say, oh give it time, one day it will just click. Really? Because we have been at this for almost a year now. We had tried off and on last summer, but stopped as we neared Adelyn's due date, thinking she would regress. Then we were in no way up for the task after Adelyn died. I would say we started trying again when I went back to work last November. And there seems to be a cycle - she will do well and then regress, the next time do even better, then regress again. That to me is worse because each time I - stupidly - get my hopes up that she got it. Only to have them come crashing down.

Let's add into the equation that Adelyn's birthday is this week and I am 9 months pregnant. Why not put some more stress in our life? It's just what we need, right?

I read somewhere that kids can sense stress, no matter how much you try to hide it. This could be the case - but what do I do about it? There is no way I am going to be calm and the old me for awhile, too much going on. I also read that 3 year olds can regress because they need some TLC and are overwhelmed. I don't know if she senses a big change is coming, or just senses my stress. I tried to make a huge deal when she did go on the potty. Today at least she wasn't nasty and refusing to do anything I asked her to do. But she peed ON HER BED after I had just put clean sheets on it because her diaper leaked the other night. Yeah - she peed so much overnight that it leaked. She rarely had that happen when she was a baby!

I don't really know where to go from here. In roughly two weeks, there is going to be a baby coming home - at least I hope. I really, really hoped Sierra would be potty trained by then but once again, it doesn't seem like my hopes are going to come true. So what do I do? Just continue to try and let her have accidents, which frustrate me no matter how hard I try not to let them and cause more work for me? Do I put her back in diapers and forget it until she actually asks to go on the potty? That is not going to make me happy either. It's kind of embarrassing, for a kid as smart and verbal as her to be wearing diapers. If she was 2.5, I would do it, but she is 3.5!! That is too old to be wearing diapers! I feel so lost and I just really don't know what to do with her.

Please God, give me my sweet, fun loving little girl back! I NEED her this week to cheer me up.