Mother's Day

Today was a mix of emotions. It's a familiar feeling these days. I felt joy and overwhelming love for my biggest. I found myself just staring at her a couple times today, in awe of her beauty. Thinking that I can't believe this child is mine. That we made her. It's just so amazing.

Seriously, is that not precious? We got new cell phones last night so she got a hold of my old one and was pretending to call her cousin and make plans to do something. It was too cute.

Then there was the hole in my heart, the emptiness in my arms. When I opened my Mother's Day card, seeing Sierra's name only on it just felt wrong. Like something was missing. Yet people do not sign deceased members of their family on cards. Lately when I have been writing out cards it has felt odd to only have 3 names on them. Why this only recently has been bothering me, I don't know.

We took Sierra and my niece to get their pictures taken today for Mother's Day and in my mind flashed images of 3 little girls in matching dresses and how much harder it would have been to get good pictures. After all, I had a dress that matched theirs ready to go, but I made my mom return it back in October because it was too hard to have around. Adelyn bear did make an appearance in the pictures though.

Also today I felt thankful for my family and of course, especially my mother. I hear so many horror stories of bad childhoods and parents. I am so grateful for my parents and childhood. I wouldn't change a thing, and that's a rare thing to say about anything.

I found this poem today and wanted to share it. Especially to those mothers who do not have a set of arms to give them hugs today.

Mothers Day

by Gwen Flowers

Happy Mothers Day to you,
and may peace fill your heart
as you and your sweet babies spend
this mothers day apart

My thoughts and prayers are with you
on this Mothers Day
for you have seen your hopes and dreams
softly slip away

Happy Mothers Day to you
you deserve nothing less
for you have borne the burden
of loss and emptiness.

You have earned the right to roses
or daisies in chubby hands
but all I can offer to you
is a friend who understands.

There's so much pain and sorrow
when things turn out this way
but we share a special bond
on this special day.

So happy Mothers Day, my friend
may it bring some joy to you
for you have loved that special way
that only mothers do.