Today started out not so bad. For once I didn't leave my dr. appointment wanting to cry. It may be the first time in this pregnancy. Progress I say! Baby did well on the nonstress test - the nurse even found the heartbeat way down low which gave me hope that maybe s/he is the right way now. I saw the dr. who delivered Adelyn and hadn't seen her since the beginning of summer. It's funny how things work with us - she said she was just thinking the other day that she hadn't seen me in awhile (my last two appointments were with a different dr) and thought about calling me to check in earlier this week but got crazy busy. Then today she saw my name on her schedule. It always seems to be that way with her - like she will call to check on me out of the blue and it's always when I needed to vent or talk to someone!
Sierra was not so good today and that was the turning point of the day. She had been accident free for 5 days in a row. Today broke that - she peed her pants not once, not twice, but THREE times! Sigh. The first was when my cousin was watching her, she always seems to do it when I'm not around. I wasn't that upset, she was playing outside and never wants to come in. During her nap it started getting HOT and so I started getting cranky! She played with the neighbors for a bit after nap then we came in to cook and cool off. I was also trying to pay bills and get all that fun stuff done. She refused to go on the potty or listen to me and sat by the front door and at some point, peed her pants. Ahhhh......
Then I cooked this good dinner because I had meat that needed to be cooked and potatoes that were going bad. But, I am the only one who ate it - hubby wasn't feeling well and is stressed with work stuff (which I might add is NOT a good mix with my moodiness) and Sierra sat there and played with her food instead of eating it, and at some point peed her pants in the process.
And to top off the evening, I swear I feel baby's head back up top again. Sigh. So while I made it through the dr. appointment without crying, I did not make it through the day as everything piled up and just got to me. I miss my baby girl. Although I know these bad days would still happen if she were here.
All I can think about is that song "Bad Day."
Healing...Freedom....Peace....Full Circle
2 years ago
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