Love

Right now is one of those moments that I can appreciate what I have and be thankful. However, to be honest, there are still VERY many moments where I am bitter for what I do not have. Why not take advantage of this hopeful mood and write a happy post for once :)

Tonight I have Sierra on my mind. I've been feeling so emotional lately, not sad, but more utterly amazed at how much I love my little girl.

Certain things that she says and does just make me stop and smile. Some examples:
-On Sunday, I was trying to get her to say "Go Steelers" on video so I could post it. She was all dressed in her black and gold. We rehearsed, then as soon as I turned on the camera it came out "Go table! Go Daddy!" And lots of giggles.
-Monday we had a two hour delay, so I fed her breakfast. Normally I wake her up, get her dressed, and walk her across the street to the baby-sitter. While she was eating, I was quizzing her on the whole boy/girl thing. Is Daddy a boy or girl? Is Mommy a boy or girl? Is Nicco (our dog) a boy or girl? She got them all right. Then, are you a boy or girl? Her answer - "No, I'm just CC." Gotta love that!
-Trying to bribe her to go on the potty - "If you go on the potty, you can have a cupcake." Her response: "No, Mommy, cupcakes are for eating, not peeing."
-Wednesday night we read the book called "I Wear My TuTu Everywhere." So she had to wear the tutu that goes with a pair of PJs with her fleece footie PJs.

The next morning she insisted on wearing her real tutu (you know the skirts that are everywhere for little girls now). After I put it on her, she twirled around and said "I'm a ballerina." As we walked across the street to the baby-sitter's house, she was yelling, "I wear my tutu everywhere." LOL!
-I could not find her thermometer for the longest time, I even went in the nursery and looked and I hate going in there. So I bought a new one. Of coure, Monday night she asked to dance so I went to put in a CD and there was the thermometer!
-This morning we were getting ready to leave. Trevor asked if he could take her to the baby-sitter's. She said, "NO, Daddy, you can't come. There are just little kid toys there. Not for you. You need to stay home with my babies" (her dolls)
-Sierra's newest thing is pretending to do my hair and dress me. She did it again tonight. She put clips in my hair, tried to give me a pony tail, made me wear her hat and attempted to squeeze my feet into her rain boots. Then she took my picture with her pretend camera and announced "Mommy, you're pretty."
-She corrects me all the time. I will be talking about putting on my shoes before leaving and she'll stop me and say "No, I'm sorry Mommy, you need boots, not shoes. It's cold outside."
-The fact that she calls her underwear "underwears." And walks around telling everyone she is wearing them. She leaves nothing left unsaid.
-Lately, I have been taking a lot of videos of her. They really capture her more than just a picture at this age. When she catches me, she stops what she is doing and says "cheese!"

I could go on and on and on. My heart is just so full of love for that little girl. I wonder at times how it is possible to love someone so much. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my husband, my parents, my brother, my extended family, my dog. But I don't think I ever truly knew what love was until I had Sierra. I remember when I was a teenager or young adult, when I would go shopping with my mom, she would always buy stuff for me and never for her. I always wondered why she did that and why she didn't want to buy herself anything. And now I am the same way. I can't help myself. Everything is so cute for little girls and to see her face light up is the best part of my day. It's amazing how motherhood makes you so unselfish.

Before Adelyn was born, I often wondered how it would be possible to love another child as much as I love Sierra. Or how I would have enough love for two kids. Now it seems I have too much love. There are definitely worse things than that.

Thank you Sierra, for teaching me to be unselfish, for teaching me the true meaning of unconditional love, for taking care of me the past four months without even knowing it, for making me laugh. And most of all, thank you God, for giving me Sierra and allowing her to grace us with her presence every single day. I will never take that for granted.