Up and Down Kind of Day

Today was a beautiful day - sunny and perfect.  I finished my cleaning this morning - I had dusted last night and wanted to vaccuum this morning before I did anything else.  One thing off the to-do list!

I was going to attempt to go grocery shopping this mornng also, but by the time I was done cleaning and showered and ready to go out, it was 11 and that did not leave us enough time since I had my last ultrasound appointment at 1:15.  So we went to Target instead to get wipes and diapers for Sierra.  She has been MUCH better with the potty - 3 dry days in a row and even telling us when she has to go  - but she still needs diapers for nap and bedtime.  And that is ok for now!

My dad watched her while I went to my appointment.  I didn't wait long, which is good.  I had another different tech and she asked me if I had a miscarriage prior or something.  She had no clue.  So I had to tell the whole story.  Then she asked if we named the baby that passed away.  Really?  Of course we did!  That frustrated me.  Then she started asking all these questions, like if I was having nonstress tests and when my last one was, if I was getting a c-section this time (seriously if one more person asks me this I may punch them), etc.  I started getting worried - why was she asking so much? Then she says "Oh the baby is moving great, 8 out of 8 for the biophysical profile." 
 
After the ultrasound I decided to run some errands since I didn't have Sierra and it's easier.  I had to get a wedding gift for my aunt, who is getting remarried after her first husband passed away 8 years ago.  So I got one thing, then after I bought it, a better idea came to mind. I also had been looking for weeks for a picture frame to fit the picture I got for the baby's room.  I wanted white as everything in there is white, but I also did not want to spend $30 on a frame.  So I decided to get silver because it was cheap - then I brought it home and the picture is too thick with the mat so it won't work.  So now I have to return a bunch of stuff - instead of crossing things off my list, I have now ADDED some.

So then I went into Babies R Us to get this Strawberry Shortcake remote control car for Sierra.  She saw it and really wanted it, and with the sale and an extra coupon it's half off.  So she can get it for Christmas or as a reward - we will see.  Except they were out of it.  Ahhh.  I did, however, buy a baby book today.  It was hard - I had one all ready for Adelyn, but never wrote in it.  So I had my cousin take it back for me.  I wanted the same one as Sierra, I LOVE it, but they don't make it any more.  There are two similar ones out there made by the same company that made hers - one is the one I bought for Adelyn - so it was an easy choice to get the other one.  It's so pretty, I love it and hope I get to actually fill it out.  I wanted to buy it now because I knew that is the exact one I wanted, and there is a space for the baby's footprints in it, so I want to have it with me at the hospital.

After this I ran into the mall to get the other gift I thought of and return something.  Well, wouldn't you know I was one day past the 60 day limit for getting a refund, so I could not get the credit on my charge like I wanted.  I had to get store credit - which I am sure I will use, but I really wanted the refund since every little bit helps when the budget is down to one income.  I was so upset, because I had just been in that store Monday and had I brought it then, could have had my money back.  I seriously almost started crying.  Oh, the hormones.....

The positives - I found a few more things for Adelyn's garden and a PINK pumpkin that says HOPE on it.  It was meant for breast cancer awareness, but it reminded me of Adelyn so I bought it.  Even though I should NOT be spending money - that's something you don't find every day.

I really, really wanted to get a pedicure for the wedding.  My feet could use some pampering and I cannot reach to paint my toes.  However, given the money I spent on the pink pumpkin, baby book, and other things, I decided I couldn't spend more.  So - my husband painted my toes for me.  What a guy.  It was quite interesting - he was clueless and made fun of my toes.  It will do.  My cousin painted my toes for me right before I was due the last two times.  With Sierra, I went into labor that night so I had her do it again when I was pregnant with Adelyn.  Except it didn't put me in labor and she said she wasn't going to do it again after the outcome we had.

Sierra seems to be back to her wonderful self again.  She has been cooperative, happy, and accident free!  Tonight she said to my belly, "I love you baby.  I'm going to see you soon."  I think my heart melted at that point.  Picturing the moment when she gets to meet this baby has been one of the few things I have allowed myself to dream of.......

I started packing my bag today.  I also set out Sierra's big sister outfit.  It was hard, I got a major feeling of deja vu.  I'll never forget going in the nursery and finding it thrown in there last year.  It is a different outfit, but it was still hard.  Tomorrow I am going to a neighbor's house to make a special rainbow bow for her to wear when she meets rainbow baby.  And yes, it's the neighbor's house who has the baby girl that was so hard for me to be around at first.  Time and considerate, sweet people DO heal.

Just a little more randomness - I heard this song on the way to my ultrasound appointment.  I have always loved it, but it certainly rings even more true these days.  I need to make it my theme song for the next few days: